One Chinese lady who has been living in Finland for a long time said that Finland is a country where is having the worst racism in the world, one of her reasons is that all Finnish around her have never looked at her properly which in her opinion that all Finnish look down on her who has yellow skin and dont want to talk to her!Emmm..I wonder what she would keep complaining if she knows in Finnish culture people consider looking directly into others' eyes as being impolite and insulting others' privacy?heeee....the understanding and funny part is in Chinese culture you behave really rudely if you dont look at others while you are talking:D.Either look at others' leaps or eyes.
Spending most of my last Sunday with him on watching "The Guild". It turned out to be not that bad as I imagined.Maybe because it was not completely World of Warcraft - game anymore. One thing led to another and another......Chaos in my head!
It is happening everyday,can't help it!
Started to be on the way of understand lots of things,phenomenons.......About Western and Asian world;About country K and western countries;about the meanings of life..........some old good things are still good ,some old bad things become actually really amazing facts;somethings are just not about good or bad,they are JUST DIFFERENT which is the hardest part for me dipping in!Cause there were always people telling me what was right what was wrong while I was growing up without asking my opinion.Even though i did had my own thoughts,nobody really cared.The governmental voice or older generations' decision and judgments or what other people thought were the facts really mattered!
But now I have "too much" freedom to think about everything,which was earlier culture shock after I came here.And people did care about what I thought,that "ridiculously" shocked me again. Then the next huge shock definitely comes to me right now!
Studying in a completely multi-culture school,seeing people who are from the whole world,hearing at least more than five languages in a day(even English I can easily get more than three accents), observation on people from different continents.......
I finally totally know how little I grasped about this world even though I lived in a huge country!
I finally know there are immense lies that I deeply used to believe about in this world and in country K: I am laughing,but the laugh is bitter; I think I am supposed to cry,but what does it help?!So I dont want to.
I finally know there are so many things are not the same as I saw and I heard : I don't allow myself to lie,but definitely not everyone does same as me;
I finally know there are many things whether I should consider them right or wrong are mostly not only about things themselves,it is about which angle I am looking through,so I am learning hardly how to find multi-angles first before stupidly judging on all new things.
......
I enjoyed this so much when I just found the second angle after I started to gradually understand Finnish language, but at that moment,my Mr already "warns" me not to get too much pressure in the future if I learn more,cause he got surprised about my changing speed based on the share-chatting I gave him everyday.I didnt understand it back then.I think I catch his point now.Jumping among different angles: Pleasure chatting with friends;staying with weird people I need to understand; learning the skill of ignorer......Maybe too much or I just need time to get use to absorb....Anyway,I get started to feel tired, sometime just wanna stop thinking for a while,but cant 'log off" from the "endless thinking page" at all.
Again, i was going to send him off.He was going back to army. He started military service since the 1st of Oct.It will last 9 months.
Seeing him changing all the clothes,I suddenly asked"Could you change into another type of the service,just work in an office,and come back home everyday?"
"No"typical Finnish style answer ,no extra word.
"Why Finland forces every man to do military service,and why did you choose the harder one?"I didnt want to give up.
"At least i can still hold the gun and shot the enemies when there is a war again"
At that moment,I knew:I was wrong again.
I thought there was no patriotic education in Finland,well,comparing to how much people do in schools in country K;
I thought Finnish didnt love their country as much as country K people do,cause as long as foreigners said that T didnt belong to country K, K people jumped around, shout and even wanted to beat them to protect their country , and meanwhile I have never heart " I love my country" from my man,during three years of being together,not even once;
Sometime i didnt even think Finnish like their country,cause when he and his friends got together and talked about Finland,they criticized LOTS of problems about their country always,so i thought Finnish were too spoiled,they didnt know how good their country was,there were much much worse places in the world.
But,watching him putting uniform on,got on the army shuttle bus,and the bus gradualy disappeared in the darkness,I knew I judged too earlier and wrong again. Because I forgot one of the most important features about them:Finnish always want to save words as much as they can DO things while they keep silent!
Ok, I have heart too much from my friends about this topic : "Racism in Finland about Chinese".Based on this a bunch of similar problems stand in front of Chinese and become one of the reasons stops them coming to Finland when they really wanna come or turn into be one of main reasons for those people who are already living in Finland not to be happy with a lot of complains in everyday life.
While i was writing something on my chinese blog, my Mr walked close to me and asked:
"what are you doing?"
"Im writing something on my blog."
"What are you writing about?"
"Everything i wanna write there."
"Why dont you write it in english?"
...........Because1.....because2......because3.......Several reasons jumped in my mind.However, instead of explaining why i haven done it until now, I opened my blog here.
Yes! I will start to write my blog in english since NOW. I know, my english sucks. But,who cares!Well,maybe some reader will care in the future,but i dont. That is enough.Right?!:D