Spending most of my last Sunday with him on watching "The Guild". It turned out to be not that bad as I imagined.Maybe because it was not completely World of Warcraft - game anymore. One thing led to another and another......Chaos in my head!
It is happening everyday,can't help it!
Started to be on the way of understand lots of things,phenomenons.......About Western and Asian world;About country K and western countries;about the meanings of life..........some old good things are still good ,some old bad things become actually really amazing facts;somethings are just not about good or bad,they are JUST DIFFERENT which is the hardest part for me dipping in!Cause there were always people telling me what was right what was wrong while I was growing up without asking my opinion.Even though i did had my own thoughts,nobody really cared.The governmental voice or older generations' decision and judgments or what other people thought were the facts really mattered!
But now I have "too much" freedom to think about everything,which was earlier culture shock after I came here.And people did care about what I thought,that "ridiculously" shocked me again. Then the next huge shock definitely comes to me right now!
Studying in a completely multi-culture school,seeing people who are from the whole world,hearing at least more than five languages in a day(even English I can easily get more than three accents), observation on people from different continents.......
I finally totally know how little I grasped about this world even though I lived in a huge country!
I finally know there are immense lies that I deeply used to believe about in this world and in country K: I am laughing,but the laugh is bitter; I think I am supposed to cry,but what does it help?!So I dont want to.
I finally know there are so many things are not the same as I saw and I heard : I don't allow myself to lie,but definitely not everyone does same as me;
I finally know there are many things whether I should consider them right or wrong are mostly not only about things themselves,it is about which angle I am looking through,so I am learning hardly how to find multi-angles first before stupidly judging on all new things.
......
I enjoyed this so much when I just found the second angle after I started to gradually understand Finnish language, but at that moment,my Mr already "warns" me not to get too much pressure in the future if I learn more,cause he got surprised about my changing speed based on the share-chatting I gave him everyday.I didnt understand it back then.I think I catch his point now.Jumping among different angles: Pleasure chatting with friends;staying with weird people I need to understand; learning the skill of ignorer......Maybe too much or I just need time to get use to absorb....Anyway,I get started to feel tired, sometime just wanna stop thinking for a while,but cant 'log off" from the "endless thinking page" at all.
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